after the war im bloody and draging my soul home...

after the war im bloody and draging my soul home...
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Life
this has been one of the toughest years of my life. im bloodied my soul has been toren to bits. emotionally i was almost broken. i cant tell you how low i found myself as i layed on my porch. some story's i only shared with those very close to me. not even with my family. my mom never knew of the 7 teeth i lost last october . i remember that day like it was yesterday, the hurt cut me very deep. as i layed there bleeding wondering when i would be able to get a breath in between the strikes of a steel toed work boot. my fingers dug deep into the blades of cold grass. my mind drifting away to better times.
surounded by 4 people who i didn't even know. settling the score for someone they would later dump. but even when my card was punched and my dues were payed i knew it would all be in good terms. there was a greater plan i just had to get through the bad.hell had many different landscapes them days. the devil reared his ugly head many times.i stood toe to toe with him more then once.

ive learned alot of lessons. ive heard music in the background like some Erie 1950s Ballard of a young mans struggles through life. and this whole time i made it on unemployment little money week to week making ends meet on a life that was no longer my own. my dreams scattered on the hard wood floors like rain on the peddle of a spring flower. but i knew someday it would all turn out one way or the other. and ive also seen tears signaling the start of healing. not just my own tears but others from my family and my friends. every drop that touched my cheek as we hugged in a long embrace helped me get closer to my goal. at times it seemed endless but im starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. as i walk away from this house i built with my own 2 hands this next week i know there will be some more tears. but im shedding my chains. im leaving my old dreams behind on this little plot of land i helped cultivate into my once humble castle. ill leave the good the bad and the ugly at the foot of the driveway exposed to all lifes elements and ill start new. back in the back yard ive been making a secret spot. for weeks now ive avoided it. ive dug a 1 foot by 1 foot hole ive covered it with red ferns and covered the bottom in potting soil and wild flower seeds. this is where ill buried what was left of my old life . the good memories of my life ill lay to rest in a bed of wild flowers that will bloom every spring . my lasting sign to my maker and who ever may come across whats left of what once was to say loudly ....
yes i fell to my knees but like these flowers i found my ground and got up and moved on.

i maybe a 1000 headstones away from here someday but ill prove i picked up and made use of the dash between my dates.



-Mike